Grief is more than sadness.
It is nervous system dysregulation mired in existential confusion and time distortion. It is the ultimate shock resulting in identity collapse. You are not the same. Your world is not the same. There is not a timeline for you to pass through, there is instead an ever-moving landscape of unknowns. This is what the internet told me, but it’s also reflective of what I learned when I sold my company last year. Everyone else saw a cause for celebration, yet I was mired in loss. I felt remarkably alone. It may not be the same as losing a grandchild, a parent, a best friend, or one of those once-in-a-lifetime special pets (all losses I have sadly endured), but it’s a loss, nevertheless.

My first step toward reclaiming myself was small but surprisingly powerful: I set up a personal email address. For decades (since email was invented basically) every message, every login, every introduction tied back to my business identity. Creating that new inbox was a quiet declaration: I exist beyond some brand. I am separate. I am apart. With each email I sent to someone on my contact list saying this is my new email address, I felt a little more like myself again.

What came next surprised me. Of course, the first step is critical but so is step number two. Reclaiming an identity isn’t a single act; it’s a series of choices, each one pulling you further into the future-your future. My future.

And I know I’m not alone in this. All humans suffer loss. I know that I’m hardly unique. Whether a loss comes from losing a friend, ending a marriage, getting fired or selling a business, we all weather life shifts.

So, what were your first steps?